I shall auction my wife today

Going once, going twice..
Don't be worried about her price.
You can take her for free if you want,
And I'll gladly ferry her to your hut.

But beware of the men she calls nephew,
Who call her names like "sweetheart."
They're the reason I gave her a curfew,
But today it's our end and I'm bitter.

Going once, going twice..
She has dimples that will make your penis rise.
If you think she's the apple of your eyes,
I can parcel her to you without a price.

I am tired of her endless lies,
And her crocodile tears when she cries.
We have a son that makes me feel baffled,
He has a bald head that looks like our landlord's.

Going once, going twice..
There's beauty in her wobbly thighs.
She has pineapple breasts on her chest,
That can make birds tumble from their nest.

She can go and I wish her the best,
I shall not even ask for my dowry.
If you take her - for once I will rest.
Don't you love smile? It's flowery...

Going once, going twice..

Source