I just hate myself

Never think of even having me as your husband in any of your sweet dreams dear. I am the most horrific man that this planet has ever had. I would rather you think of me as a ghost from the catacombs in your nightmares than the person whom you'll kiss and cajole on the day of your honeymoon!

The truth of the matter is that I have never succeeded in anything good through out my poor pathetic life. Even failure itself is just afraid of associating itself with me! All the job interviews I went to before failed successfully. All the relationships I have gotten into have also failed to succeed. Sometimes I do look at myself as a bull thats only good for plaugh! I'm not sure if I can even sire a child... I probably fire blank bullets.

To be honest, I'm not the kind of man any woman would love to introduce to her parents. I have failed life and life has failed me... I'm even told that parents encourage their children to stay away from me as one of the hints to success... If you want to define the word "hopeless," don't search for it in the dictionery! Dont google it online either. Noo! Just draw my wrinkled face. My face is the defination of hopelessness. Don't love me when I loathe myself with so much hatred...  Just emulate the characters of my friends... they have all hidden away from me. Even my enemies run away when they see me....

I hate how I feel with all the love that I have. All I want is to be quarantined with my fellow failures. People who have low self esteem like me. People who live under a spell of bad luck like I do. People who touch gold and their cursed fingers turn the gold into dust... The dust that fades away like a trench of smoke on a windy day!